There was a time, earlier in my career, when I assumed that if I simply worked hard, kept my head down, and stayed out of office politics, I’d get ahead. I believed, as many women do, that my effort and talent would speak for themselves. Promotions and raises would steadily come my way as my boss saw the fruits of my labor. So, I spent most days hunkered down in my cube or working diligently at client sites. Forget going to lunch with colleagues or spending a few minutes at the beginning of my day to have coffee in the break room. I was too busy writing proposals, updating project plans, and creating detailed PowerPoint presentations.
As time passed, I began to notice an annoying little phenomenon: the men around me were going to lunch. They were leaving early to go golf, and they were yakking in the boss’s office about the latest football scores. More annoying still, they certainly didn’t seem to be suffering professionally because of it. As for most of the women around me (well, the few who existed in the predominately male technology environment), they operated more like I did, and they, too, seemed to be working harder—or at least longer—than most of the men. We all seemed to harbor the same "If I don’t do it, it won’t get done" attitude. We were always focused on the work, and we disappeared into our little worlds to churn out the best possible results. Yes, we emerged triumphant, expectations met. But there was one big mistake we all made: we were confident that our work—in and of itself—was the single driver to boost us up the career ladder.
We were wrong. We were suckers.
I realized sooner rather than later, thankfully, that moving up is not just about the work you do but also about whom you know and who knows what you are doing. In other words, women need to develop a network of smart, influential people who are familiar with their skills and accomplishments, who provide career advice, and who alert them to professional opportunities. Building this network requires not just getting out of your office but adjusting your communication style and channels—how you express yourself and to whom—so that you connect with and impress the most influential people, those who can promote you, approve projects, listen to and act on your ideas, and accommodate your requests. Some call such deliberate behavior "politicking," and they may be right. But it’s not a bad thing. Networking is also not a social, side activity but a conscious effort to connect with people who can, in a variety of ways, assist your career.
Some of you are probably rolling your eyes at the mere notion of playing the networking game. Perhaps you despise the concept and think networking and politicking are insincere, flirtatious, two-faced, brown-nosing behaviors. After all, a woman’s work and talent should stand on their own. Or perhaps you already know you should be networking but have struggled with just how to initiate relationships.
Whether you deem yourself above networking or are simply confused by it, think of networking as a business tool that helps you build a fourth relationship category. You already have friends and family and, perhaps, a significant other. Now you need business connections—work associates with whom business is the unabashed basis of your relationship, people with whom you discuss company news, industry trends, business tactics, and topics particular to your line of world, Some of these business connections will become social friends, but at the end of the day most of these relationships are about work, and these people won’t have the same loyalty to you as family and friends. Business connections are strategic relationships, for both you and the other person.
Unless you go out of your way to initiate and cultivate these professional relationships, they will not exist. They will dwindle, and then the only person available to help you move up will be, well, you. And you can’t move up alone. | 
